Jimmy Kimmel: A Wannabe Tough-Guy

Apparently, being a self-appointed expert in the economics of healthcare markets also means that you are unable to handle any criticism when someone dares to call into question your imagined expertise, or so it would seem by listening to late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel. After using his son’s serious heart condition as a pretext for shilling for Barack Obama and peddling his version of Socialism, the comic-turned-healthcare expert found himself the target of some legitimate, and entirely predictable, criticism. Kimmel apparently took special offense to comments made by Fox News host Brian Kilmeade. In a manner worthy of a middle school playground, Mr. Kimmel puffed himself up in front of his audience of brain-dead, clap-when-prompted sycophants, most of whom couldn’t spell “deductible” even if they knew what it was. Although his most likely fighting technique, if a potential opponent ever made his way past Kimmel’s body guards, would be to duck and cover, he nonetheless tried to impress his audience of trained seals with faux-machismo. With all the courage of 10-year-old boy “standing up” to the bully while clutching tightly his mother’s leg, Kimmel, with much bravado, stated the following:

The reason I found this comment to be particularly annoying is because this is a guy, Brian Kilmeade, who whenever I see him kisses my ass like a little boy meeting Batman. Oh, he’s such a fan!

He follows me on Twitter. He asked me to write a blurb for his book, which I did. He calls my agent, looking for projects. He’s dying to be a member of the Hollywood elite. The only reason he’s not a member of the Hollywood elite is because nobody will hire him to be one.

And, you know, the reason I’m talking about this is because my son had an open-heart surgery and has to have two more, and because of that I learned there are kids with no insurance in the same situation.

I don’t get anything out of this, Brian, you phony little creep. Oh, I’ll pound you when I see you.

Yes, he will “pound” Brian Kilmeade when he sees him. Strange choice of words. No doubt this is how Kimmel and his band of pajama-clad, latte-sipping writers imagine that real mean talk. They didn’t quite pull it off, if you ask me. Perhaps next time they should actually consult a real man, not one who only “identifies” as such.

By the way, Mr. Kimmel, as men who are confident in their physical toughness know, and for obvious reasons you do not, the more one feels the need to talk tough, the more likely it is that he is not. In your case, this is a pretty safe bet.